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Breaking Free: Healing from Narcissistic Relationships & Building Healthy Connections
- leigh milne
- Apr 20
- 3 min read
Narcissistic relationships can leave deep emotional scars
, but healing is possible. Whether you've experienced this form of abuse in a romantic relationship, within your family, at work, or even among friends, understanding the patterns of manipulation and learning how to reclaim your power is a vital part of recovery.
Recently on the Transcending Trauma radio show and podcast, we delved into Part 1 and Part 2 of narcissistic relationships, unpacking the emotional toll they take and sharing practical strategies to heal and build healthier connections moving forward.
If you've ever found yourself constantly second-guessing your worth, doubting your reality, or walking on eggshells around someone, you're not alone. Narcissists use charm, guilt, gaslighting, and control to maintain dominance—but the good news is, you can break free.
💡 Understanding Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse typically follows a cycle known as the Idealize–Devalue–Discard pattern. Recognizing this is the first step in freeing yourself from the fog of emotional manipulation.
The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse:
1️⃣ IdealizationYou’re showered with admiration and attention—also known as love bombing. You feel needed, seen, and incredibly valued.
2️⃣ DevaluationSubtle criticisms start to emerge. The narcissist may gaslight, shame, or withdraw affection. You're left confused, anxious, and walking on eggshells.
3️⃣ DiscardOnce you begin to assert boundaries or no longer serve their needs, you may be ignored, replaced, or abandoned. This often happens without closure.
💔 Some Examples:
Personal Relationship: Bob was enchanted by Mary’s initial affection. Over time, the compliments turned into put-downs like “Why do you laugh like that?” When he tried to pull away, she love-bombed him again—keeping him trapped in a loop of confusion.
Workplace (Construction Site): Bob’s new supervisor praised him at first but gradually began criticizing his work, gaslighting him (“You’re being too sensitive”), and taking credit for his successes. When Bob considered quitting, the praise returned: “You’re my best worker.” This cycle of abuse made him question his reality and worth.
Family Dynamics: Mary grew up with a narcissistic mother who favored her brother (the Golden Child) and cast Mary as the Scapegoat. This dynamic planted seeds of low self-worth and led Mary to attract narcissistic partners in adulthood because the chaos felt “normal.”
👑 The Golden Child & The Scapegoat
Narcissistic parents often assign these roles to their children to maintain control and dominance.
The Golden Child is excessively praised but carries the burden of being perfect. The Scapegoat becomes the family’s emotional dumping ground, blamed for everything.
Understanding this dynamic is key to unraveling how it affects your adult relationships.
🛡️ Setting Boundaries & Rebuilding Healthy Relationships
Healing begins with recognising toxic dynamics and setting strong boundaries.
What does a healthy relationship look like?
✔️ Mutual respect✔️ Consistency (no mind games)✔️ Emotional safety✔️ Healthy boundaries – Your needs matter too.
How to Set Boundaries in Different Areas:
Romantic Relationships – Learn to trust your instincts. Don’t fall for guilt-tripping.
Workplace (including Mining & Construction) – Keep records, maintain professionalism, and know when to leave.
Family – Limit contact, step away from toxic roles, and protect your energy.
Friendships – Choose people who uplift you and show up consistently.
🎧 Podcast Resources & Support Tools
We've created a healing toolkit to support your journey out of narcissistic abuse and into empowered living.
Recommended Books:
📚 Whole Again – Jackson MacKenzie📚 Psychopath Free – Jackson MacKenzie📚 Dodging Energy Vampires – Dr. Christiane Northrup📚 The Body Keeps the Score – Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
Helpful Apps:
📲 Wysa or Woebot – AI emotional support📲 The No Contact Rule App – Stay strong post-breakup📲 Bloom or Reflectly – Guided healing tools📲 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery App – Education & support📲 Boundaries.me – Learn to protect yourself
🌐 Online Communities & Educational Sites:
Reddit: r/NarcissisticAbuse
Facebook: Narcissistic Abuse Support Groups
7Cups.com – Free peer support and online therapy options
🌟 Bonus Healing Meditation (will be uploaded soon)
To support you on your journey, I am creating a free downloadable hypnotherapy + mindfulness meditation designed specifically for survivors of narcissistic abuse. It’s a powerful tool to calm your nervous system, rebuild your confidence, and cultivate self-love.
🎧 Listen Back & Stay Connected
Catch up on the Transcending Trauma podcast episodes, including this two-part deep dive on narcissistic abuse:
🎙️ Listen now on:
🔔 Follow us on socials for updates, healing resources, and upcoming episodes.
💌 Have questions or want to share your story? Reach out—we’d love to hear from you.
You deserve relationships rooted in love, truth, and safety. Healing is possible. You're not alone.
With compassion, Leigh Holistic Psychologist | Host of Transcending Trauma
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